Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Oh, the Joys...

This is for all you mamas out there who I know will appreciate this story. You all remember this story from JoAnn Fabrics, right? Today, we were that family yet again, but it was even worse. We were at Target (my happy place...at least until I had my second child). Now, I learned this trick from my SIL with 5 kids, that a child with popcorn and a drink is a much happier child at Target and makes me more able to peruse the aisles for as long as I want. This has worked great for like 3 years, or since Lily was old enough to enjoy popcorn. Not a bad investment for a measly $2 (used to be like $1.15, but whatever). Anyhow, because of this, I usually get the kids a popcorn and a drink, sometimes an Icee if Lily asks really sweetly. Well, she asked, and I let her get a blue Icee. We walked a bit, I had given Ava a cup of water and she was none the wiser that her big sis had yummy, sugary goodness in the back of the basket. I grabbed a couple of cute clothes (for myself) that were on sale. We walked. Lily, then offered Ava some Icee. Sweet, right? Yeah, I thought so, too...they were doing great passing it back and forth for a while...until, that's right, here comes what I am sure you all saw coming a mile away...Ava while passing to Lily in the back of the cart spilled the still about 3/4 full bright blue Icee on top of the clothes I had grabbed. Lovely. Well, now I have to buy these, but first I wanted to try to rinse them off before the Icee had time to really sink in. So, we found a nice red shirted lady and told her we weren't stealing the clothes, we just needed to rinse them off in the bathroom. At this point, the kids knew they were in big trouble. They sat completely silent while I was in the bathroom rinsing and muttering, "I cannot believe you guys did this." We left the bathroom, thinking the worst was over. Oh, no. There were no less than 6 red shirted Target employees cleaning up the blue drips we had left across the ENTIRE store. Niiiiiiiice. They even had to have one of their special little Target pep-talk meetings to delegate people to clean it up. So, now, that I am completely certain Target will never allow me and my children in one of its stores ever again, we try to leave. I then, of course, have to explain to the cashier why all the clothes I am buying are wet. He was training someone and made a big deal about not touching the clothes, fine, you don't want to get wet, I'll bag them. Then, as we're leaving, I hear him say to his trainee, "I always make sure not to touch wet things, because, you know, they say 'It's blue slushie,' and it's really their kid's pee." Awesome. No, I do not let my kids pee on clothing I am thinking about buying, we save that until it is paid for and at home, thank you very much. I mean, really, what kind of experience has this man had that he ended up with some random person's kid's pee on him? And, who let's some stranger touch something their kid had peed all over? Just, please, never let me be that person!

3 comments:

Gatita said...

Oh my word...

Lark said...

This was awesomely hilarious until the cashier's comment. That just makes me mad how you could say that in front of a customer. Gee! But otherwise, a wonderful story to add to the blackmail you can give your girls when they are choosing your nursing home :o)

The Bowers Family said...

Ok so I just scrolled down to read this one and it is cracking me up. Please never let me be that person ever either.